Have You Ever Thought, What Is Wrong with Some People?
Have you ever walked out of a meeting, closed the classroom door, or finished a conversation with a colleague and caught yourself thinking, What is wrong with people?
I know I have.
In fact, there have been days when I've replayed a conversation all the way home, mentally rewriting it in my head. You know the version where everyone else says exactly what they should have said, and you come up with the perfect response... about three hours too late.
I'm hoping that's not just me.
The older I get, though, the more I realise just how complicated we are as humans, not to mention the layered complexity of schools.
On any given day we're trying to make good decisions, respond to parents, support colleagues, meet deadlines, solve problems and somehow still have enough energy left to be fully present for our students. If you're leading a team, you're also thinking about staff wellbeing, team performance, student outcomes and everything else that lands on your desk before morning tea.
When you stop and think about it, it's no wonder we don't always see the best in one another.
Pressure has a funny way of bringing out behaviours that don't always reflect who we really are. We become impatient. We jump to conclusions. We say things more abruptly than we intended, or we withdraw because we simply don't have the energy for another difficult conversation.
I know I've done all of those things.
That doesn't mean we excuse behaviour that isn't okay, but it does make me a little more curious about what's sitting underneath it. Over the years, I've found that when I replace judgement with curiosity, I usually discover there's a story I didn't know. A difficult conversation from earlier that morning. A family situation. A decision weighing heavily on someone's mind. Or simply someone who's trying to keep all the balls in the air and is worried they're about to drop one.
That shift in perspective has changed the way I think about staff wellbeing.
It's one of the reasons I've become so passionate about Sustainable Staff Wellbeing Systems. Because while we all have a responsibility for how we show up, we also need workplaces that help us do that well.
The reality is, when we're under pressure, we don't always have the headspace to stop, reflect and choose the perfect response. That's why healthy teams don't rely on everyone getting it right all the time. They create clear norms about how people work together. They establish shared expectations for communication, feedback and decision-making, so when emotions are running high, we're not left guessing how to respond.
Those systems don't remove the pressure, but they do give us something steady to lean on.
When we know what's expected of each other, when conversations happen consistently and respectfully, and when there's a shared understanding of how we'll navigate disagreement, it becomes much easier to respond thoughtfully instead of simply reacting. That's what makes wellbeing sustainable. It's not another initiative sitting alongside the real work of schools; it's built into the way we work together every day.
And even with those systems in place, we'll still have days when we get it wrong.
I certainly do.
Which is why I've come to believe that self-awareness and healthy systems need each other. One without the other is never enough.
It's easy for me to notice when someone else brings tension into a meeting. It's much harder to notice the days when I'm the one bringing frustration, assumptions or impatience into the room.
None of us gets that right all the time. But maybe that's the point.
Healthy teams aren't made up of perfect people. They're made up of people who are willing to pause, reflect and ask themselves, "How did I contribute to what just happened?" Sometimes the answer is uncomfortable, but it's also where growth begins.
One Small Shift
The next time you find yourself thinking, "What is wrong with people?", try adding one more question before you settle on the answer.
"I wonder what they're carrying beneath the surface... and how might I be influencing this (either positive or negative)?"
